Something about a pop song with great lyrics, production and feedback shakes people to the core and becomes a classic spellbinder, or so it is called. Great music no matter what it sounds like, can get the approval it deserves. (all the way from Beethoven to Smegma)
0 Comments
There are some times where the heart connects together. Two hearts can always connect, but the willingness is the hardest part. In fact, it is almost impossible due to the extreme personality I have.
Whoever is reads this will know that these two are hotly linked subjects to teens. Parents tell us to listen. School tells us to listen. Often we (teens) want to shut our selves up and listen to what we really are saying to ourselves.
Monday. The fresh start of the week comes to a near close as I sit in this ergonomically unbalanced desk chairs. On a Chromebook that the school uses, I take 4 quizzes that the teacher made us do. It's been emotionally rough for a couple weeks. Lot's of turmoil happens, and it doesn't necessarily mean I'm not happy. Inner turmoil has become a source of happiness for me. But I was afraid that this turmoil was superficial, or fake.
But that fear is now put to rest. The first quiz taken identifies me as a misfit. 92% openness. 46% Conscientiousness, 79% extraversion, 0% agreeableness. Wow. I do know that my words and actions are casually impulsive. I am also aware that my low conscientiousness helps me develop weird glitches in my personality which makes it all the more fun to live. My high neuroticism results in me being an emotional mess. Everything gets tangled because everything is made up of tangles. I knew this much about me. It frightened me to know this much clearly. But, out of all quizzes that I have taken in my life, for the first time, a quiz gives me certainty and security of heart. 0% agreeableness. This makes everything else make sense. I am not normal. I am an emotional idiot, and I make pretty extreme decisions very quickly and stay on that idea very strongly. I feel safe in being prone to damage. Why? Cause it's an exclusively human thing to be damaged. The next test made things very interesting. It was the Briggs test. The most assuring thing from the test is that it says that I prefer Introversion over Extroversion. I am an Extrovert, but always had the thinking pattern of an introvert. It confused me. I see now that it is possible to have a difference between the inside and the outside. It's the zen balance of the inside and outside that makes me happy. "Marginal or no preference of Sensing over Intuition. Slight preference of Feeling over Thinking. Moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving." I now see why I don't do critical thinking well. I use emotions more than I should. I'm dependent on it. What an idiot. I am a social failure. I have now proven that I am not able to think and possibly hope to pass high school. I will have to try. That is all I can do. So far, I agree with everything said. The next two tests however were erroneous to me, and also I don't care about the issue displayed in it. The first was a quiz called spent. It challenges the player to try and see if they can live for a month with a life tumbling down. I approached it as a challenge, and tried to survive, but it is impossible. I did end up with $284, but the day to pay rent was the next day. I almost lost my job, my heart has problems and my teeth are horrid. My goal and understanding of this quiz is to not end up in a failure like that and also give money to people like that. But I am sure if I work hard enough and get crazy enough so that I am sustainable, I will never end up like that. I don't want to. Then again who says that I can't end up near the streets? Suddenly I don't feel so safe anymore. What will I do? Should I stay weird or try to get someone to brainwash me into a good public school kid? Should I damage my fingers so I can't play anymore? To confuse me even more after that, I took the quiz to see what political party I am in. First of all, before I say my answer, I hate politics. I don't care who or what idiot runs the country as long as they do it right. I got 70% Liberal. I have no idea if any party is willing to support a guy like me. I'm scared that everyone will forget about me. Not in the sense that anyone physically remembers me, but in the sense of which people will leave me out of society itself. Remember? I am an extrovert who prefers introversion. I feel as if everybody will leave me out and that if I am accepted to anything, I will be used and exploited by anyone. My wife, kids, friends or anyone. I feel stuck and reassured. It's as if one side of my mind is telling me, "hey it's gonna be alright. There does exist an island of misfit toys" and the opposite side is telling me, "who are you kidding here? you can't really do it. what do you even have left of yourself?" I tell both sides, me and the universe. The results however, did make me think about the problems or issues happening as of now. The issue of housing is very much real. The topic of young people not voting is a problem. But why does nobody try to shed a different light on issues? That is what I was able to do. Why not put some pressure on rich people to help the poor out? Why not re-educate kids to be able to vote for something and move the future. Face it. No matter how good our healthcare is, the earth is in a transitional period where old people die. Young people like us do need a voice. We just don't know why we need one. We all need to have at least ourselves and the universe to us. These results had immediate consequences on me. I am more dazed and confused. (happy) It's as if I am high without drugs. 24/7. The advantages of these results are that I can see why and how our generation can make or break it. It tells me how I can make it or break it. I can use the results to foresee what we or I should do. Other than that, there is no use to them. |
AuthorGr.10 student at CHCI. Senior Enriched at Humber College Community Music School. Archives
January 2016
Categories |